Chapter 8 - Mr. Mom

I've been unemployed now for 1 year, 11 months and 4 days as of 30 July 2005 (today).

I'm really getting tired of hr reps, headhunters, recruiters calling about "I saw your resume on Job.com, Monster.com, Careerbuilder.com, dbm.com, etc., etc., ad nauseum.

You have this... hope that springs up when a headhunter calls. It's after all, in his or her best interest to place you in said position for their commission checks.

First, it was Target regarding a logistics position. "I don't have experience in that area," I said. "I know, we're going to try to sell your soft skills as a people person..."

So, I go through the phone screen with Target. I've looked at the web site. I've researched the company and its commitment to diversity; its impact on the communities it operates in.

Then, the recruiter gives me the bad news: "They said there wasn't a good fit between your skill sets and what they were looking for." Isn't that what I JUST said about two paragraphs ago!?

This chapter is titled "Mr. Mom" because of an apparent role reversal.

I'm not the only black male in this boat. Two friends are finding themselves the caregivers and their mates the breadwinners.

I've always prepared breakfast and dinners. It was fine when I had a job and my masculinity was intact.

False hope extended is worse than no hope at all. It's a striptease: a hard-on after the performance with no where to go.

Now, it's a black firm from Georgia. I researched their site. Their listed with Black Enterprise Magazine. The recruiter sounds like a brother! The position is with Home Depot in their store leadership program. Starting is $80 - 85K, plus benefits. That's more than I made as an engineer.

Reality: My business is within a week of closing, despite the prayers I've solicited from the Internet, the prayer team (experts in this area), the three days of fasting (OK, I was desperate) and the amounts of 401 (k), severance, 60 plus hours a week I've devoted to making myself successful.

Reality: It looks like I'm going to have to be Mr. Mom as my wife kills herself selling for Plantation Homes (not kidding). She thinks she can do it, and I'm sure she can.

The casuality in all of this is my male ego. I have a need to succeed and provide for my family. It's an in-bred instinct: the weaker males faced extinction in the clan, did not mate with the most attractive and in some extreme cases were EATEN by their kinsmen!

An open comment to hr reps, headhunters, recruiters and Catbert Evil HR Directors: this is what you're dealing with when you call a guy that's been out of the game for two years, is developing dish panned hands and a disturbing tolerance for the SOAP Network!

So now, with the hope, I wait. I waited Friday until I could not stand it and called the firm with kids (running a summer camp) screaming in my ear. The do-wop song "Rescue Me" comes to mind. My revised resume has been forwarded to the rep over the Home Depot account to make a determination about doing a phone screen.

Ah, the infamous phone screen. And so, I wait...